(The following is an excerpt from "The BellAholic Bible.")

...Jehovah's prophet came down from the mountain, carrying the great tablets on a cocktail cart, loaded with buckets of iced beverages. He looked down at his people, parched and dry from their long walk of forty years in the desert, and said unto them:

The people, confused and thirsty, said, "Oh great one, why have we walked in the desert for all these 40 years, only to be told this?"

And the Holy One said unto them, "Yea, it is with great myrth and merriment that I hath watched yee, my people, walk about in this festering hell-hole like the morons you are! The first round is on me!"

And with that, the Mighty One showered intoxicating beverages from the sky, that delighted and inebriated the dehydrated masses.

Bud, Son of the Wise Man, opened a large sack, collecting the Lord's holy nectar. Miller, Son of High, Grandson of Life, invented the aluminum can, collecting the Lord's holy nectar. Sam, Son of Adams, from the distant lands of Boston, smelted the desert sands into brown glass, to collect the Lord's holy nectar. Guinness, Son of the Stout One, separated the heavy, darker waters from the others, and let the sun warm the Lord's holy nectar. Rolling, Son of Rock, absorbed far too much of the Lord's nectar and wandered off, lost in the desert, for 33 years....

Countless others were inspired by the nectar of the Great One, and in honor of their creator, went on to grow grapes, hops, wheat and zima fruits.

But yeah, it has been written, that those in the lowlands were overwhealmed by the holy beverage waters, and a great flood came upon them. Many struggled to shore, but many many others were lost in the great ocean. It was from this great spiritually washed populace that the BellAholics had their beginnings...

Onto the Lost Abooboo Realm!